Gosh, I remember starting this blog a few months ago, all excited to blog every single week but lately I've become slightly lazy. Don't get me wrong, the excitement is still there but laziness is just slightly more powerful. I guess since I am having holiday this past week, I've entered the 'whatever' phase and just sit around the whole day doing nothing. Those days are over though....
It's time to shift to the high gear. With exams coming up in a month or so, it's time to buckle up. And guess what...I am going to blog a little bit more frequently these next few weeks. Ooohh speaking of which, new chapters for Turning 2.0 will premier this weekend. I cannot believe it. It's been a year. Gosh...time does pass by quickly when you're not counting down the days.
Until this weekend, see ya and take care.
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Updates! Updates! and More Updates!
This is the most relaxing week I've had for the last two months. I have holiday this whole week from yesterday all the way to next Monday. In Japan (not sure about other countries so dont dare to comment), all universities (if not all, most) have this university festival. That means that for all that are organizing an event, it's a very hectic week but for people who could bother less, it's a lazy week. I am having a lazy week so I guess you sort of figure out what I will be contributing to the event. Well, since this is my first year, I am going to take it easy. I have every intention of participating next year though. I am still going to the festival itself with some friends (hopefully...if they don't pull a rain check) this coming Thursday or Saturday.
So what have I been doing? Just sitting around, doing nothing and watching television while doing some sit ups and playing with my dumbbells. A dude's got to work out eventually or else his belly is going to bulge so high, it can be a personal Mount Everest. I used to think that it was impossible for me to become fat but recently I realized that that is just a myth. Especially since I gained a miraculous 5 kg the last time I went back. Well, I wont call it miraculous considering the frequency of me having lunch and dinner. It was like twice or three times of lunch a day. LOL. But yeah, need to put in some exercise before I become the next big pile of fat.
Apart from my televison marathon, I also have other things planned for this coming Friday and Saturday though. On Friday, I would have to go for an interview for a tutoring job at a cram school. This job is very important as I want to travel a bit before graduating. In order to travel, I need money. In order to get money, I need to work (or steal..but seeing that is illegal..i have no other choice but to work). Hopefully by next year, I can go and visit Jia Hsien in the US. Hopefully. Right after the interview, I need to go for this dinner with our ex student advisor but now the current CEO of Mitco Japan who is stationed in KL now. He would be coming to Japan this Friday though so all of us, Petronas scholars would meet up with him. For some unknown reason, I am terrified of him. He reminds me of a father I never have. LOL. Then on Saturday, I need to go for another job interview. Just in case the other one doesnt work out.
Arghhh...not forgetting the report and assignments that I need to complete. As well as catching up with some reading for some of my lectures. I guess this week aint that free after all. Well, I guess I should be grateful since I still get to wake up late. Hehehehe...the pleasure of waking up late is something no one can ever dispute..Instead of having another few minutes of sleep like my usual days, I get to have a few more hours of sleep...
Owh before I forget, I just finished Turning 2.0 Season 3. If everything works out according to schedule, the season will premier next Saturday, December 1st. The list of chapters for the whole of Season 3 is as following:
Chapter 1: Change (Sugababes)
Chapter 2: Leap Of Faith (David Charvet)
Chapter 3: Try (Nelly Furtado)
Chapter 4: Everything (Michael Buble)
Chapter 5: Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) (Spice Girls)
Chapter 6: Somewhere Out There (Our Lady Peace)
Chapter 7: Baby Goodbye (Friday Hill)
Chapter 8: Leaving On a Jet Plane (Chantal)
Chapter 9: Rootless Tree (Damien Rice)
Chapter 10: Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)
Chapter 11: Taking Off (Naza)
Chapter 12: Turning 2.1
If all works out right, Chapter 1 to Chapter 11 will be posted from 1st of December until 2nd of February. In respect of its title, Turning 2.1, the last chapter will be posted a day after my birthday, March 27th of next year. And also there may be an additional chapter right before Chapter 9 but that is still left undetermined. We'll see how it goes. Or more like I'll see how my mood goes.
Until then, see ya.
So what have I been doing? Just sitting around, doing nothing and watching television while doing some sit ups and playing with my dumbbells. A dude's got to work out eventually or else his belly is going to bulge so high, it can be a personal Mount Everest. I used to think that it was impossible for me to become fat but recently I realized that that is just a myth. Especially since I gained a miraculous 5 kg the last time I went back. Well, I wont call it miraculous considering the frequency of me having lunch and dinner. It was like twice or three times of lunch a day. LOL. But yeah, need to put in some exercise before I become the next big pile of fat.
Apart from my televison marathon, I also have other things planned for this coming Friday and Saturday though. On Friday, I would have to go for an interview for a tutoring job at a cram school. This job is very important as I want to travel a bit before graduating. In order to travel, I need money. In order to get money, I need to work (or steal..but seeing that is illegal..i have no other choice but to work). Hopefully by next year, I can go and visit Jia Hsien in the US. Hopefully. Right after the interview, I need to go for this dinner with our ex student advisor but now the current CEO of Mitco Japan who is stationed in KL now. He would be coming to Japan this Friday though so all of us, Petronas scholars would meet up with him. For some unknown reason, I am terrified of him. He reminds me of a father I never have. LOL. Then on Saturday, I need to go for another job interview. Just in case the other one doesnt work out.
Arghhh...not forgetting the report and assignments that I need to complete. As well as catching up with some reading for some of my lectures. I guess this week aint that free after all. Well, I guess I should be grateful since I still get to wake up late. Hehehehe...the pleasure of waking up late is something no one can ever dispute..Instead of having another few minutes of sleep like my usual days, I get to have a few more hours of sleep...
Owh before I forget, I just finished Turning 2.0 Season 3. If everything works out according to schedule, the season will premier next Saturday, December 1st. The list of chapters for the whole of Season 3 is as following:
Chapter 1: Change (Sugababes)
Chapter 2: Leap Of Faith (David Charvet)
Chapter 3: Try (Nelly Furtado)
Chapter 4: Everything (Michael Buble)
Chapter 5: Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) (Spice Girls)
Chapter 6: Somewhere Out There (Our Lady Peace)
Chapter 7: Baby Goodbye (Friday Hill)
Chapter 8: Leaving On a Jet Plane (Chantal)
Chapter 9: Rootless Tree (Damien Rice)
Chapter 10: Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)
Chapter 11: Taking Off (Naza)
Chapter 12: Turning 2.1
If all works out right, Chapter 1 to Chapter 11 will be posted from 1st of December until 2nd of February. In respect of its title, Turning 2.1, the last chapter will be posted a day after my birthday, March 27th of next year. And also there may be an additional chapter right before Chapter 9 but that is still left undetermined. We'll see how it goes. Or more like I'll see how my mood goes.
Until then, see ya.
Monday, 12 November 2007
God's Gift To Everyone : Potential
Yesterday, while doing nothing, I decided to pick up a book and read. I borrowed a book (well, not actually borrowed. I made a deal with a teacher/friend in my university. He enjoys reading so much that he reads like two to three books a week. I, on the other hand, is not such a huge fan of reading. In fact to come to think of it, apart from text books...I don't really ready anything else except for the foolish programme NILAM that they introduced in high school last time which got me started on Wishbones and Bookworm. However, ever since meeting Clyde, the guy mentioned above, he got me into reading this book entitled Freakonomics. Interesting book. I don't necessarily agree with everything but still it offered a different perspective. After reading that book, I decided that I want to read more. So I made a deal with Clyde. I agreed to pay a quarter for the books he bought and I will get to keep it as long as I have not finished reading the book. A good deal since..1) I have to pay, so I am more inclined to read...2) since the book is still not mine, I will not shove it into some shelves as a gift to the spiders..So yeah, where were I...owh that's right..I was talking about the book. I borrowed a book) entitled Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind.
This book mentioned about how the rich people think and to be honest with you, I have never been so impressed in my life. Half of what was mentioned in the book (half cause I only read half. Plan to finish it tomorow though) got me thinking "damn, if only I found this book earlier, I wouldnt be in such deep financial poop". The part that got me going the most was the part that mentioned how our financial blueprint in this little head of ours was actually programmed from the day we can understand the world. It mentioned that if we were to grow up with a negative conotation of money, we would most probably be broke. Cause since we link money with the root of all evil (as Karl Marx would say it), automaticaly we refuse to be rich cause no human being in their right mind would want to be someone they hate. So after reading half the book, I began to realize that I spend just like my mother. We have the same financial blueprint. The "here today, gone tomorow" financial blue print. It does not matter how much I make, I would still lose all the money because that was how I was programmed. Upon reading that, I realized I need to reprogramme myself.
The second thing that was written in the book didn't really surprise me that much. It said that all complainers are garbage collectors. That I knew a long time already...Most people that complain are usually bottom feeders. But the one thing that impressed me was the explaination that the book gave. It all had to do with the Law of Attraction. If we're complaining about crap, which makes us crappy, what are we going to attract? Surprise, surprise...more crap. LOL. How insightful. That explains why whiners usually attract each other.
The last thing that was mentioned in the last pages of half of the book I read made me realize one thing. God has given everyone something special. A potential. This potential can be something beautiful but only and if only, we groom it to be beautiful. If we leave it untouch, it will forever be rough and wasted. Anyone who refused to develop this gift of theirs is selfish. Only through understanding your gift and realizing your potential, you can start to feel fulfillemnt and be content cause finally, you are giving back to the society. After reading that, I realized what is my next move already. Wish me luck.
This book mentioned about how the rich people think and to be honest with you, I have never been so impressed in my life. Half of what was mentioned in the book (half cause I only read half. Plan to finish it tomorow though) got me thinking "damn, if only I found this book earlier, I wouldnt be in such deep financial poop". The part that got me going the most was the part that mentioned how our financial blueprint in this little head of ours was actually programmed from the day we can understand the world. It mentioned that if we were to grow up with a negative conotation of money, we would most probably be broke. Cause since we link money with the root of all evil (as Karl Marx would say it), automaticaly we refuse to be rich cause no human being in their right mind would want to be someone they hate. So after reading half the book, I began to realize that I spend just like my mother. We have the same financial blueprint. The "here today, gone tomorow" financial blue print. It does not matter how much I make, I would still lose all the money because that was how I was programmed. Upon reading that, I realized I need to reprogramme myself.
The second thing that was written in the book didn't really surprise me that much. It said that all complainers are garbage collectors. That I knew a long time already...Most people that complain are usually bottom feeders. But the one thing that impressed me was the explaination that the book gave. It all had to do with the Law of Attraction. If we're complaining about crap, which makes us crappy, what are we going to attract? Surprise, surprise...more crap. LOL. How insightful. That explains why whiners usually attract each other.
The last thing that was mentioned in the last pages of half of the book I read made me realize one thing. God has given everyone something special. A potential. This potential can be something beautiful but only and if only, we groom it to be beautiful. If we leave it untouch, it will forever be rough and wasted. Anyone who refused to develop this gift of theirs is selfish. Only through understanding your gift and realizing your potential, you can start to feel fulfillemnt and be content cause finally, you are giving back to the society. After reading that, I realized what is my next move already. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Turning 2.0 Season 2: Chapter 5 New Day (Shapeshifters)
Previously
I found out that I have this new father that I never knew existed before. And then I anticipated my university result..
“The truth can become a lie in a matter of seconds. When that happens and your whole world comes crashing down, what do you do? Do you accept the new truth and try and adjust your life to the new information that you just found out? Or do you simply discard the new piece of information and pretend like nothing ever happened? Either way, life will never be the same again”
26th of July 2007, Hiyoshi, Japan
University life started two months ago. To be honest with you, things have not been working out fine for me. After finding out about my biological father, I didn’t have much time to think about him. The day after that phone conversation with my mum, the university result came out and I was accepted into Keio University, what was supposed to be the best private university in Japan. Despite the magnitude of the event, I wasn’t all that happy with it. In spite of recent events, I guessed the happiness was balanced by the sadness. Hence, I feel nothing. But yeah, after the result came out, I started to tutor English to earn some extra cash. So two months before entering university, I kept myself busy by watching TV shows and tutoring English as well as with the university entrance procedures.
Even when I have time to think about my father, I came to the conclusion that it was a good thing. Now, instead of having to explain what my second father has been up to since the divorce, I can just say that my father died when I was three and my mum remarried to a Muslim. Hence, the name is Nazaruddin Abdullah. I also successfully manage to make full use of the story and used it as a material for a speech competition which I came in second place. So everything seemed great. Note the word seemed.
The problem that I thought was solved was merely neglected. And it came back to haunt me during the first few months of university. Being frustrated with the language barrier and stuff, I began to lose all interest in going to class. Instead I chose to stay home and feel sorry for myself all day. Every day I wake up promising myself that today was the day I was going to change but by the time the day came to an end, I was back to my old self. I even took a week off in May, which wasn’t recognized by the school, thus it meant that I skipped classes and would be penalized for it. I took the week off in hopes of finding a way to end this Great Depression but it didn’t work. Instead, it caused me to drown even more. So much for trying to apply the Keynes theory into my private life.
Surprisingly enough, once again friends came to the rescue. And this time, they were all new friends. There were these girls that are from China (as it turned out some of them are human droids but with hearts and compassion) that were so nice to me. They would talk to me and befriend me and in return, I helped one of them out with English. And then there were these Japanese friends who were different from the normal Japanese. They were able to think outside the wavelength of normal Japanese. Days passed by and I was slowly enjoying myself. Soon, I was back to my old self again. I look forward to going to classes.
But no actions come unpunished. Because of my absence from a few classes, I needed to explain to the teachers why I couldn’t turn up to class. That was when I scratched my head and came up with the idea of seeing the school shrink. Perhaps if I were to tell her my problems, she would kindly tell my teachers that I have some illness. Laugh out loud. I went to see her because of two reasons. First, I needed an excuse and second, the school fee covered these expenses as well. But never have I thought that seeing her would have actually helped me in any way. And it did.
I began to tell her about my situation and she listened. The one dilemma that I have left was whether or not I should rekindle with my biological father’s family or not. It was the dilemma of simply living the live I have now or trying to revive a life that I never had. The one advice that she offered me was when I go to Malaysia for the summer vacation which would start in less than three weeks time, I should just go and see them. She said it best when she said that it is better to see them and have no regrets, rather then returning to Japan after the summer vacation wishing that I have went to see them. I decided to take her advice.
So like always, things took a turn for the better. After six months of a rollercoaster ride, the rollercoaster finally stop and I could finally go and fetch myself an ice cream that I have been longing to eat by the beach. But there are still three weeks before the holiday. Anything could happen between now and then.
Coming Up Next Month
Oh my god, can you believe it? It's already November and soon this year will come to an end. Time does fly. To come to think of it, it's been a rollercoaster journey for me this year. Upon turning 20 this year's March, I started writing Turning 2.0 which was initially supposed to be one time gig only with season 1. But after 4 chapters in Season 1, I realized 4 chapters ain't enough to sum up my life. Thus I came back with Season 2 which had five chapters including this one which is the season finale. And....it's still not enough to sum up my colorful (perhaps too colorful) life.
And so...we're going to have Season 3. Which have two parts...part I and part II. Part 1 will deal with my trip back to Malaysia in August and all that happened then...while Part 2 will conclude Turning 2.0 with a glance at what happened when I returned to Japan at the end of September and how things may work out from here and now. Season 3 will have about 9 chapters with the first blog to be posted around early December and the last post right before my return to Kuching next year. Can't wait to kick off Season 3. In the meantime, I will be posting about my daily life as a university student.
I found out that I have this new father that I never knew existed before. And then I anticipated my university result..
“The truth can become a lie in a matter of seconds. When that happens and your whole world comes crashing down, what do you do? Do you accept the new truth and try and adjust your life to the new information that you just found out? Or do you simply discard the new piece of information and pretend like nothing ever happened? Either way, life will never be the same again”
26th of July 2007, Hiyoshi, Japan
University life started two months ago. To be honest with you, things have not been working out fine for me. After finding out about my biological father, I didn’t have much time to think about him. The day after that phone conversation with my mum, the university result came out and I was accepted into Keio University, what was supposed to be the best private university in Japan. Despite the magnitude of the event, I wasn’t all that happy with it. In spite of recent events, I guessed the happiness was balanced by the sadness. Hence, I feel nothing. But yeah, after the result came out, I started to tutor English to earn some extra cash. So two months before entering university, I kept myself busy by watching TV shows and tutoring English as well as with the university entrance procedures.
Even when I have time to think about my father, I came to the conclusion that it was a good thing. Now, instead of having to explain what my second father has been up to since the divorce, I can just say that my father died when I was three and my mum remarried to a Muslim. Hence, the name is Nazaruddin Abdullah. I also successfully manage to make full use of the story and used it as a material for a speech competition which I came in second place. So everything seemed great. Note the word seemed.
The problem that I thought was solved was merely neglected. And it came back to haunt me during the first few months of university. Being frustrated with the language barrier and stuff, I began to lose all interest in going to class. Instead I chose to stay home and feel sorry for myself all day. Every day I wake up promising myself that today was the day I was going to change but by the time the day came to an end, I was back to my old self. I even took a week off in May, which wasn’t recognized by the school, thus it meant that I skipped classes and would be penalized for it. I took the week off in hopes of finding a way to end this Great Depression but it didn’t work. Instead, it caused me to drown even more. So much for trying to apply the Keynes theory into my private life.
Surprisingly enough, once again friends came to the rescue. And this time, they were all new friends. There were these girls that are from China (as it turned out some of them are human droids but with hearts and compassion) that were so nice to me. They would talk to me and befriend me and in return, I helped one of them out with English. And then there were these Japanese friends who were different from the normal Japanese. They were able to think outside the wavelength of normal Japanese. Days passed by and I was slowly enjoying myself. Soon, I was back to my old self again. I look forward to going to classes.
But no actions come unpunished. Because of my absence from a few classes, I needed to explain to the teachers why I couldn’t turn up to class. That was when I scratched my head and came up with the idea of seeing the school shrink. Perhaps if I were to tell her my problems, she would kindly tell my teachers that I have some illness. Laugh out loud. I went to see her because of two reasons. First, I needed an excuse and second, the school fee covered these expenses as well. But never have I thought that seeing her would have actually helped me in any way. And it did.
I began to tell her about my situation and she listened. The one dilemma that I have left was whether or not I should rekindle with my biological father’s family or not. It was the dilemma of simply living the live I have now or trying to revive a life that I never had. The one advice that she offered me was when I go to Malaysia for the summer vacation which would start in less than three weeks time, I should just go and see them. She said it best when she said that it is better to see them and have no regrets, rather then returning to Japan after the summer vacation wishing that I have went to see them. I decided to take her advice.
So like always, things took a turn for the better. After six months of a rollercoaster ride, the rollercoaster finally stop and I could finally go and fetch myself an ice cream that I have been longing to eat by the beach. But there are still three weeks before the holiday. Anything could happen between now and then.
Coming Up Next Month
Oh my god, can you believe it? It's already November and soon this year will come to an end. Time does fly. To come to think of it, it's been a rollercoaster journey for me this year. Upon turning 20 this year's March, I started writing Turning 2.0 which was initially supposed to be one time gig only with season 1. But after 4 chapters in Season 1, I realized 4 chapters ain't enough to sum up my life. Thus I came back with Season 2 which had five chapters including this one which is the season finale. And....it's still not enough to sum up my colorful (perhaps too colorful) life.
And so...we're going to have Season 3. Which have two parts...part I and part II. Part 1 will deal with my trip back to Malaysia in August and all that happened then...while Part 2 will conclude Turning 2.0 with a glance at what happened when I returned to Japan at the end of September and how things may work out from here and now. Season 3 will have about 9 chapters with the first blog to be posted around early December and the last post right before my return to Kuching next year. Can't wait to kick off Season 3. In the meantime, I will be posting about my daily life as a university student.
Saturday, 20 October 2007
Turning 2.0 Season 2: Chapter 4 This Is How A Heart Breaks (Rob Thomas)
Previously
In a phone conversation with my mum, I told my mum that I was having dreams about my father. And how I think my father may be dead already. This was the point when my mum got all serious and said that there was something I should know. She told me that I have another father………..
“The truth can become a lie in a matter of seconds. When that happens and your whole world comes crashing down, what do you do? Do you accept the new truth and try and adjust your life to the new information that you just found out? Or do you simply discard the new piece of information and pretend like nothing ever happened? Either way, life will never be the same again”
20th January 2007, Tokyo, Japan
She told me I have another father. And the father that was in my birth certificate isn’t my real father. As it turned out the single memory I had wasn’t about my real father but it was of my second father, the one that my mother married so that I could have a birth certificate with a father’s name on it. As it turned out, my biological father was a gangster and he was murdered before the two ever got a chance to get married. As it turned out my biological father was murdered when I was three years old. Now, all the pieces of puzzle that didn’t fit before was slowly making sense.
I used to visit this stranger’s house when I was around 9 or 10. My mum would just leave me there for one whole day. They were all so nice to me. The kids played with me. The aunties treated me like their own son. There was this old lady that used to speak to me. As it turned out, that was my biological father’s sister’s house.
My mum used to ask me to talk to this stranger on the phone. He was a man with a rough voice. He would ask me about my life and how I was doing. At first, I just thought that it was one of my mother’s friends so I tagged along. As it turned out, that man was my biological father’s brother who was just released from jail.
I once found a photo of a burial service in my aunt’s (she is actually an Indonesian woman that is not really related to us but for the past many years, she has been helping my mum out so we called her auntie ever since) room. I was actually curious to find out what she was hiding behind her locked room so using a pair of scissors, I broke into her room. As I went through her stuff, I found this photo album of a Chinese burial service. Inside this photo album, I found this picture of this man in his coffin. That picture freaked me out and that picture even appeared in my dream once. I just thought it was some weird fetish my aunt had. But as it turned out, it was the picture of my biological father.
It all began to make sense. The reason why I never had a single memory of my biological father was because he was never around. My mother never introduced him to my grandfather and my mother’s family never knew of him.
My mum said that he used to take me out and buy stuff but I could not remember it. Perhaps, I was too young. My mum said I attended his funeral service but I could not remember it. Perhaps I was too young.
My mum said that I knew him but I could not remember it. Perhaps I was too young.
My tears began to flow. The next thing I know, I was already squatting on the ground with the phone in my head, but my head was else where. I began to cry. I didn’t know why I was crying. How could I cry for a man I never got to know? I just didn’t know what else to do. I told my mum I would call her back in five minutes and I went to my room. As I almost reached my room, I stopped in front of Ihsan’s door. After he opened the door, I took a pillow and began to cry again. That was the first time I ever cried in front of a friend. I didn’t know who else to turn to. The world that I knew of no longer existed. Everything changed. I no longer know what was true and what was false. Nothing seemed right anymore.
After getting a grip of myself, I was back to the old self. It barely took 10 minutes. I went to call my mum with my usual cheerful character and told her not to worry. I told her I didn’t understand why I cried. And then I told her that I would be fine.
That night, I went to my room. I lie on my bed and I realized one thing. Things might no longer be the same anymore.
As I shut my eye, I wondered if I would enter the university of my choice or not. The result was coming out the next day. Keio University's result was coming out the next day.
Although that was on my mind, it was not that important to me anymore cause I finally realized why I broke down into tears. After working so hard to fit the pieces of puzzle, the puzzles were torn apart again. And now I have to start from scratch.
But this time, I won’t be alone anymore. I have friends with me to rebuild it, whether they know it or not.
Next Week:
The last chapter of Turning 2.0 Season 2. How did this new information change my life? A better question, did it change my life? Find out next week as I enter university.
In a phone conversation with my mum, I told my mum that I was having dreams about my father. And how I think my father may be dead already. This was the point when my mum got all serious and said that there was something I should know. She told me that I have another father………..
“The truth can become a lie in a matter of seconds. When that happens and your whole world comes crashing down, what do you do? Do you accept the new truth and try and adjust your life to the new information that you just found out? Or do you simply discard the new piece of information and pretend like nothing ever happened? Either way, life will never be the same again”
20th January 2007, Tokyo, Japan
She told me I have another father. And the father that was in my birth certificate isn’t my real father. As it turned out the single memory I had wasn’t about my real father but it was of my second father, the one that my mother married so that I could have a birth certificate with a father’s name on it. As it turned out, my biological father was a gangster and he was murdered before the two ever got a chance to get married. As it turned out my biological father was murdered when I was three years old. Now, all the pieces of puzzle that didn’t fit before was slowly making sense.
I used to visit this stranger’s house when I was around 9 or 10. My mum would just leave me there for one whole day. They were all so nice to me. The kids played with me. The aunties treated me like their own son. There was this old lady that used to speak to me. As it turned out, that was my biological father’s sister’s house.
My mum used to ask me to talk to this stranger on the phone. He was a man with a rough voice. He would ask me about my life and how I was doing. At first, I just thought that it was one of my mother’s friends so I tagged along. As it turned out, that man was my biological father’s brother who was just released from jail.
I once found a photo of a burial service in my aunt’s (she is actually an Indonesian woman that is not really related to us but for the past many years, she has been helping my mum out so we called her auntie ever since) room. I was actually curious to find out what she was hiding behind her locked room so using a pair of scissors, I broke into her room. As I went through her stuff, I found this photo album of a Chinese burial service. Inside this photo album, I found this picture of this man in his coffin. That picture freaked me out and that picture even appeared in my dream once. I just thought it was some weird fetish my aunt had. But as it turned out, it was the picture of my biological father.
It all began to make sense. The reason why I never had a single memory of my biological father was because he was never around. My mother never introduced him to my grandfather and my mother’s family never knew of him.
My mum said that he used to take me out and buy stuff but I could not remember it. Perhaps, I was too young. My mum said I attended his funeral service but I could not remember it. Perhaps I was too young.
My mum said that I knew him but I could not remember it. Perhaps I was too young.
My tears began to flow. The next thing I know, I was already squatting on the ground with the phone in my head, but my head was else where. I began to cry. I didn’t know why I was crying. How could I cry for a man I never got to know? I just didn’t know what else to do. I told my mum I would call her back in five minutes and I went to my room. As I almost reached my room, I stopped in front of Ihsan’s door. After he opened the door, I took a pillow and began to cry again. That was the first time I ever cried in front of a friend. I didn’t know who else to turn to. The world that I knew of no longer existed. Everything changed. I no longer know what was true and what was false. Nothing seemed right anymore.
After getting a grip of myself, I was back to the old self. It barely took 10 minutes. I went to call my mum with my usual cheerful character and told her not to worry. I told her I didn’t understand why I cried. And then I told her that I would be fine.
That night, I went to my room. I lie on my bed and I realized one thing. Things might no longer be the same anymore.
As I shut my eye, I wondered if I would enter the university of my choice or not. The result was coming out the next day. Keio University's result was coming out the next day.
Although that was on my mind, it was not that important to me anymore cause I finally realized why I broke down into tears. After working so hard to fit the pieces of puzzle, the puzzles were torn apart again. And now I have to start from scratch.
But this time, I won’t be alone anymore. I have friends with me to rebuild it, whether they know it or not.
Next Week:
The last chapter of Turning 2.0 Season 2. How did this new information change my life? A better question, did it change my life? Find out next week as I enter university.
Disturbing News...
This news article was taken from Star Online. Go to http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/10/19/nation/20071019202947&sec=nation for the real article.
Baby dies after thrown from flat
PENANG: Born hardly a few hours, a baby boy was stuffed into a plastic bag and apparently thrown down from a flat in Kampung Melayu here.
The fair-skinned baby also had a piece of cloth around his neck leading police to believe that the someone had probably “chickened out” of strangling him at the last minute.
A post mortem by forensic pathologist Datuk Dr Bhupinder Singh showed that the ligature marks on the baby’s neck were inflicted before death.
State CID chief Senior Asst Comm (II) Datuk Abdul Samah Mat said the baby had multiple body injuries and fractures indicating that he was thrown from a great height.
He said the race of the baby has yet to be determined and was only born a few hours before being murdered.
Police, he said, had classified the case as murder and appeal to witnesses or those with information to call Rakan COP hotline (04-2691999) or any police station.
First-year medical student K. Vijayananthni, 21, said she was going to her aunt’s house nearby when she noticed a plastic bag in the middle of a badminton court at 12.45pm yesterday.
“I went nearer to take a look and almost fainted when I saw a small leg sticking out. I was about to call my brother at home when I saw a policeman staying near my block walking by.
“I approached him and he called the nearby police station. A team of policeman arrived at the scene, opened up the plastic bag and found a newborn baby with a piece of cloth around his neck.
After reading this article, I felt a part of me just died inside. How could someone do something this horrid? Has humanity lost in this battle against immorality? The world is changing. The world is changing back to few hundred years back where murdering babies by burying them in the ground was an everyday event.
Baby dies after thrown from flat
PENANG: Born hardly a few hours, a baby boy was stuffed into a plastic bag and apparently thrown down from a flat in Kampung Melayu here.
The fair-skinned baby also had a piece of cloth around his neck leading police to believe that the someone had probably “chickened out” of strangling him at the last minute.
A post mortem by forensic pathologist Datuk Dr Bhupinder Singh showed that the ligature marks on the baby’s neck were inflicted before death.
State CID chief Senior Asst Comm (II) Datuk Abdul Samah Mat said the baby had multiple body injuries and fractures indicating that he was thrown from a great height.
He said the race of the baby has yet to be determined and was only born a few hours before being murdered.
Police, he said, had classified the case as murder and appeal to witnesses or those with information to call Rakan COP hotline (04-2691999) or any police station.
First-year medical student K. Vijayananthni, 21, said she was going to her aunt’s house nearby when she noticed a plastic bag in the middle of a badminton court at 12.45pm yesterday.
“I went nearer to take a look and almost fainted when I saw a small leg sticking out. I was about to call my brother at home when I saw a policeman staying near my block walking by.
“I approached him and he called the nearby police station. A team of policeman arrived at the scene, opened up the plastic bag and found a newborn baby with a piece of cloth around his neck.
After reading this article, I felt a part of me just died inside. How could someone do something this horrid? Has humanity lost in this battle against immorality? The world is changing. The world is changing back to few hundred years back where murdering babies by burying them in the ground was an everyday event.
Sunday, 14 October 2007
Turning 2.0 Chapter 4
Sorry, guys. I know I mentioned in my blog that I will be putting up Chapter 4 today but today has been very busy. Instead I will be blogging Chapter 4 this coming Saturday. Sorry guys. See ya..
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