Previously
This year, around March I put up 4 chapters of Turning 2.0. I know the ending was abrupt but that was because there was actually a second part to Turning 2.0. And this is the second part. In the first two chapters, we will look back on what has happened over the past two years. This will eventually extablish a starting point for Chapter 3.
31st August 2005, Kuala Lumpur
“The truth can become a lie in a matter of seconds. When that happens and your whole world comes crashing down, what do you do? Do you accept the new truth and try and adjust your life to the new information that you just found out? Or do you simply discard the new piece of information and pretend like nothing ever happened? Either way, life will never be the same again”
As we walked past by the Golden Triangle in KL after witnessing the beautiful fireworks at the Kuala Lumpur Twin Towers, I began to reminisce on the life I used to live. A year ago, I would be all alone, sitting at home. I might be out with friends, but my state of mind will still be empty. A year ago I would have been completely numb and unable to feel. In fact, to come to think of it, it was only two months ago, I finally had a new beginning and for the very first time, could come to terms with my past and what my future may be.
In May 2005, I feared for my future and what may become of it. I am not of a wealthy family and I know I only have one chance to fly to another country. And that is now or never. Despite getting straight A1s for my general examination, there was still that fear that I might not be what they were looking for. As days passed by, I hoped but at the same time, I was being very cautious. My mum said that if I want to, she would fork out every single penny she had to send me overseas, but I couldn’t accept it. I myself saw the pain she had been through over the years. How could I ask her to suffer more?
But I guessed God had plans for me. By the time June came, I found out I received the Petronas scholarship and was offered the opportunity to study in Japan. And by the time 21st June was here, I was at the airport already. My mum was crying and so were my two other siblings. But it wasn’t that bad, cause they knew I was still going to be near to them. I was after all, only going to KL to do my three months language course. I, however, never thought in a million years that those three months would change my life for good.
Upon arrival at KL, I was excited. I didn’t know what was coming my way but I was almost certain it would be something great. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I could feel it. After arriving at the INTEC, the place where I was supposed to do my language center, I went to my shared house to meet my new housemates. I expected my housemates to be dry and boring people. But I was wrong. I had two Chinese and one Indian for my housemates. As days passed by, we bonded and soon enough, we were playing pranks on each other.
It was during three months language course that I met Muzzani, Ihsan, Iman, Ina and Fatimah. Let me start with the latter four first. The five of us are in the same program. We all received the same scholarship and were all going to fly to Japan. So after fooling around for three hours, learning Japanese language, every Thursday afternoon, we have this so called religious class. Since there were only five of us, the teacher didn’t bother teaching. It was story telling session every time. One day, surprisingly, she came in to the class without a story to tell. So she suggested that we watch a video. While we were watching the video, she asked me a simple question. She wanted to know about my family. Now, under normal circumstances, I would have made a lie up and gave her the simplest version of things. Instead, perhaps due the holy power she had over me, it was either that or the fact that I ate something wrong during lunch; I began to spill the beans on my life. I told her about my family and how my father was irresponsible and how my mother was the sole provider of the house. I told her about the few things I have been through over the years. I, of course, didn’t tell her everything. That was my very first time. The very first time I had ever told anyone the truth. And that triggered a whole new Naza. I never knew telling the truth was that easy. I always thought that it was the hardest thing to do.
Since then, I no longer put my past in the closet. I brought it all out. There were no more lies. Okay, fine, there were still lies but not that much. Okay, fine. There are still lots of lies but there is also plenty of truth. Perhaps this was why I find it easier to make friends. True friends. Within these three months, I made friends with a lot of people. One of them was Muzzani. Like Dominic, he is one of the few people that judges others. He takes people for who they are. Not only the attributes, he accepts the bad and the ugly too. And that allowed me to feel comfortable with my past.
Looking back now, I began to realize how much easy it would have been to just tell my friends everything last time. But perhaps it was best that I kept it all inside of me first at that time. Perhaps there was a reason. As I continued to walk along the road, I realized I was walking too fast ahead already. Muzzani and his girlfriend were being left behind. I told Muzzani not to bring her along. But no, he had to bring her. It was supposed to be a guys night out. So far for the past two hours we’ve been walking, all I hear is whining about how her legs are tired already (Amy, you know I love you. And I love your whining too). In the end, to shut her up (sorry, Amy), we found a place to sit. We sat there and talk for the entire night until morning came and we took the train home.
Next week : A year since August 2005, has things improved or worsened? Can the past really be forgotten?
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